Why It’s Best to Start the Conversation Now — Not When It’s Too Late
If you’re in your forties or fifties and starting to worry about your mum or dad’s future — their memory, their bills, their care — you’re not alone. And if you’re unsure whether it’s “the right time” to talk to them about a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA), the answer is simple:
If you’re thinking about it, it’s probably the right time.
What Is a Lasting Power of Attorney — And Why Does It Matter?
An LPA allows your parent (or anyone over 18) to appoint someone they trust — usually a family member — to help make decisions if they’re ever unable to do so themselves. There are two types:
- Health & Welfare – care arrangements, medical treatment, daily routines, and where they live
- Property & Finance – managing bank accounts, pensions, bills, or selling a house if needed
What most people don’t realise is: you can’t set this up after someone has lost mental capacity. If you wait until something happens — a stroke, dementia, or mental health decline — it’s already too late. And without it, families are left stuck, often at the worst possible moment.
This Isn’t About Taking Control
Starting this difficult but necessary conversation is about listening. It’s a way of making sure your parent has a say in what happens — not just now, but if life ever takes an unexpected turn.
They can choose whether the financial LPA is usable straight away, or only if needed later. The health and care LPA only takes effect if a professional — like a GP or social worker — confirms they no longer have capacity to decide. These are important safeguards. It’s not about “handing everything over”; it’s about setting up clear instructions that reflect their wishes.
LPAs Make Life Easier — For Everyone
Without an LPA, banks and services can’t speak to you. Bills go unpaid. Care decisions are delayed. Your family is left to apply for a Court of Protection order — which can take months, cost thousands, and cause deep frustration.
With an LPA in place, you can help smoothly — knowing exactly what your parent wanted, because the conversation already happened.
Wills, Wealth, and What They Worked For
It’s worth mentioning wills, too. Once someone has lost mental capacity, they cannot make or amend a will. That’s the law. So everything they hoped to leave to their children or grandchildren may be eaten away by long-term care or redirected by default legal rules.
For families who want to protect what’s been worked for, combining a well-thought-out will and LPA is one of the most sensible, protective steps they can take.
“Mum, Can We Talk About This?”
You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to open the door.
“I know this isn’t the easiest thing to talk about, but I want to help make sure things happen your way — even if something unexpected ever comes along. Have you ever thought about putting something in place?”
You’re not interfering. You’re planning ahead. And you’re giving them the chance to take the lead while they still can.
I’m Here When You’re Ready
I’m Sarah-Ann Stevens. I run Sage and Hollow — a small, local legal consultancy. I work solo, slowly, and in plain English. Whether you just want to understand the steps, or you’re ready to get documents in place, I’ll walk you through it carefully and at your pace.
No call centres. No pressure. Just proper, personal legal help.
Start the conversation today. You’ll be glad you did — and so will they.
Legal Notes & References
- Lasting Powers of Attorney are created under the Mental Capacity Act 2005 and overseen by the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG).
- The ability to make a will is governed by the common law Banks v Goodfellow (1870) test for testamentary capacity.
- LPAs must be registered with the OPG before they are valid for use.
- Financial LPAs can be set to begin immediately or only if capacity is lost (the donor chooses).
- Health & Welfare LPAs only take effect once a professional confirms the donor no longer has capacity.
Further reading: